Fred, thank you for the thoughtful post. I will add to the consistent theme here: you have done nothing to offend or harm me and I hope I have not offended or harmed you.
Coincidentally, today I finished listening to an audiobook “The Book of Charlie” by David Von Drehle. It is about life lessons from his neighbor Charlie who lived to age 109 and ends with the following philosophy of life, which the author found in Charlie’s notes after he passed. Your post is certainly consistent with #7;
Fred, you have not done anything that has hurt me. You have often been a blessing to me by provoking me to examine my beliefs and actions. I hope I have not done anything to hurt you. If I have, please forgive me.
like your other friends, i can think of nothing you have done to hurt me and therefore nothing to forgive. if i have done anything to hurt you, i hope you know that it was done through my ignorance, not through any malice. i cannot remember ever being angry with you even though i have sometimes (not often) disagreed with you. I hope you will forgive my for any hurt i have caused through my ignorance. I look forward to another year. Mark
Nice post Fred. While I understand the thought behind this tradition, forgiveness is a complicated thing. Because it is often a subject of Christian studies and has become, in the modern world, an activity to be performed, I have given it a bit of thought. Not being a religious person, I mostly ignore what Christians tell me I should do in favor of what seems right to me. I daily find myself forgiving people for small transgressions, those they meant and those they didn't mean. But this is a feeling, not an activity. Increasingly, I am offended by the asking of forgiveness. I don't believe it is something we do, but something which happens because we are humans in society ... because we care about the person we are forgiving ... because we realize they meant something different ... because it is to our benefit to have an unstained relationship with them ... because we are in a good mood ... and a hundred other reasons. Some selfish, some magnanimous. Of course, I am making a decision to forgive each time. Still, I see no reason, for the good of me or the transgressor, for the need to or the obligation to, forgive everyone. I am capable of living in the world not having issued a false forgiveness because I have been asked for it or stated it. And I believe that others can also.
It is complicated.
Now ... all is forgiven. Move forward, not backward.
Fred, I forgive you for all the many transgressions that you did. Now do you feel better, absolved? Good . I am glad it was easyto make you feel better. I feel better too. Interesting that you mentioned Sherwin Wine. He is the one who married me to my wife Mary. Interesting guy and apparently it stuck. Lloyd
First, Fred, there is nothing to forgive you for! And if there is something I have done to hurt you in any way, I hope you will let me know so that I can ask for your forgiveness!
Like you, I don't believe in G-d--but I guess I retain my Jewish religious training so that I usually spell the name of G-d with a hyphen instead of the letter "o." (As you probably know, there is a tradition of "freethinking" in Judaism, which I guess is like Humanistic Judaism, and I am a freethinking Jew! I think there are a lot of us, actually!)
So, like you, I am not observant. But in the past I used to participate in tashlich, most often at the Hudson River near 96th Street in NYC, when I used to spend the first day of Rosh HaShanah with my brother (who is now gone) and his family, and we would all walk over together from their apartment on Broadway. It's my favorite Jewish ritual!
I wanted to participate this year because I really felt the need to do it; but because the first day of Rosh HaShanah fell on a Saturday, tashlich was on Sunday and it poured rain at the time that the synagogue I found by Googling was going to do tashlich about 3 miles from where I live. So I didn't go.
My partner was willing to go with me, even though he's not Jewish--he said, "That's what umbrellas are for!"--but since I'm not a member of the synagogue, I wasn't sure they would still be doing it in the rain. And maybe I wasn't motivated enough.
Maybe I'll have better luck next year!
In any event, although we have already exchanged New Year's greetings, please let me again wish you a sweet new year!
You are so dear to us fred. There is nothing to forgive only to rejoice in your being a part of our lives. Wishes for a sweet new year and may you be inscribed in the book of life.
Fred, thank you for the thoughtful post. I will add to the consistent theme here: you have done nothing to offend or harm me and I hope I have not offended or harmed you.
Coincidentally, today I finished listening to an audiobook “The Book of Charlie” by David Von Drehle. It is about life lessons from his neighbor Charlie who lived to age 109 and ends with the following philosophy of life, which the author found in Charlie’s notes after he passed. Your post is certainly consistent with #7;
1) think freely
2) practice patience
3) smile often
4) savor special moments
5) make and keep friends
6) tell loved ones how you feel
7) forgive and seek forgiveness
8) feel deeply
9) observe miracles, make them happen
10) cry when you need to
11) be soft sometimes
12) make mistakes and learn from them
13) do the right thing
14) work hard
15) spread joy
16) take a chance
17) enjoy wonder
Fred, you have not done anything that has hurt me. You have often been a blessing to me by provoking me to examine my beliefs and actions. I hope I have not done anything to hurt you. If I have, please forgive me.
like your other friends, i can think of nothing you have done to hurt me and therefore nothing to forgive. if i have done anything to hurt you, i hope you know that it was done through my ignorance, not through any malice. i cannot remember ever being angry with you even though i have sometimes (not often) disagreed with you. I hope you will forgive my for any hurt i have caused through my ignorance. I look forward to another year. Mark
Nice post Fred. While I understand the thought behind this tradition, forgiveness is a complicated thing. Because it is often a subject of Christian studies and has become, in the modern world, an activity to be performed, I have given it a bit of thought. Not being a religious person, I mostly ignore what Christians tell me I should do in favor of what seems right to me. I daily find myself forgiving people for small transgressions, those they meant and those they didn't mean. But this is a feeling, not an activity. Increasingly, I am offended by the asking of forgiveness. I don't believe it is something we do, but something which happens because we are humans in society ... because we care about the person we are forgiving ... because we realize they meant something different ... because it is to our benefit to have an unstained relationship with them ... because we are in a good mood ... and a hundred other reasons. Some selfish, some magnanimous. Of course, I am making a decision to forgive each time. Still, I see no reason, for the good of me or the transgressor, for the need to or the obligation to, forgive everyone. I am capable of living in the world not having issued a false forgiveness because I have been asked for it or stated it. And I believe that others can also.
It is complicated.
Now ... all is forgiven. Move forward, not backward.
Fred, I forgive you for all the many transgressions that you did. Now do you feel better, absolved? Good . I am glad it was easyto make you feel better. I feel better too. Interesting that you mentioned Sherwin Wine. He is the one who married me to my wife Mary. Interesting guy and apparently it stuck. Lloyd
First, Fred, there is nothing to forgive you for! And if there is something I have done to hurt you in any way, I hope you will let me know so that I can ask for your forgiveness!
Like you, I don't believe in G-d--but I guess I retain my Jewish religious training so that I usually spell the name of G-d with a hyphen instead of the letter "o." (As you probably know, there is a tradition of "freethinking" in Judaism, which I guess is like Humanistic Judaism, and I am a freethinking Jew! I think there are a lot of us, actually!)
So, like you, I am not observant. But in the past I used to participate in tashlich, most often at the Hudson River near 96th Street in NYC, when I used to spend the first day of Rosh HaShanah with my brother (who is now gone) and his family, and we would all walk over together from their apartment on Broadway. It's my favorite Jewish ritual!
I wanted to participate this year because I really felt the need to do it; but because the first day of Rosh HaShanah fell on a Saturday, tashlich was on Sunday and it poured rain at the time that the synagogue I found by Googling was going to do tashlich about 3 miles from where I live. So I didn't go.
My partner was willing to go with me, even though he's not Jewish--he said, "That's what umbrellas are for!"--but since I'm not a member of the synagogue, I wasn't sure they would still be doing it in the rain. And maybe I wasn't motivated enough.
Maybe I'll have better luck next year!
In any event, although we have already exchanged New Year's greetings, please let me again wish you a sweet new year!
You are so dear to us fred. There is nothing to forgive only to rejoice in your being a part of our lives. Wishes for a sweet new year and may you be inscribed in the book of life.